2 more days as a family of 3….
Wow. It’s hard to believe that on Friday our family of 3 will be 4. Kellar is excited and talks about his baby Londyn daily, he will ask me several times a day if Londyn is done growing in my tummy and can come out now. I can’t believe I have carried her to 38 wks, the constant aches and pains are a daily reminder of how big she is but I am beyond thankful for this experience, it’s not something I plan on doing again though. I still think of how things would have been if I had pushed for this stitch with Kellar but again I am beyond thankful for my precious lil miracle that he’s turned out to be. I have been a bundle of emotions the last week, I think it’s hit me finally that Kellar will not be the only child in our house and goodness knows he’s been #1 for 4 years. It’s like I have this guilty feeling about him having to share our attention now. We were out buying things that we need in order for Londyn to come home and I teared up several times while shopping for her in front of him, he’d ask what I was doing and it’s like I would choke up saying that I was trying to find Londyn a sleeper, or trying to decide what binkys to get her because it’s always been me looking for something for him, he wasn’t the least bit bothered by it and was happily picking out stuff for his baby sister but I on the other hand found myself thinking I had to get him something too. I’ve laid in the bed at night and wondered how this is going to affect him, will he still be ok with it after she gets here, will he be upset with us for having another baby, is he going to ignore me b/c I’m going to be taking care of Londyn? Or will he be the best big brother around and look forward to the day she’s chasing him around the house getting into all his toys? I know I’m extremely emotional and my feelings are going in 986 different directions. So Friday is the big day…thoughts and prayers appreciated…
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